Dubya, after hearing Commander Milquetoast, Harry Reid, say that a "suge" of 20,000 to 30,000 more American soldiers into Baghdad might be a good thing, has coyly been tossing around the idea of, somehow, increasing the size of the U.S. Army and Marine Corps. But how to do that without either recourse to a draft or increasing pay and sign-up bonuses?
I have the solution: illegal immigrants.
Now look, according to the likes of Congressman Steve King, there is something like 11 to 12 million of these illegal critters running around the country. And even he acknowledges that our country is dependent on this hoard of undocumented, and unwashed, to kill our beeves, roof our houses and wipe our butts when we go to the nursing home. They, for the most part, would like to remain here as "legal" immigrants, but the system now in place for legal immigration is so labyrinthine and Byzantine as to make it all but impossible.
So here's what we do. Have the Immigration and Customs Enforcement, ICE, gang round up every illegal, undocumented immigrant, alien, work they possibly can; tell'em they can be "legal" if they serve a minimum of five years in the Army or Marines; and ship their asses to Iraq! Hell, they can take their families too!
This is so evil, I don't know why Ollie North never thought of it.
So this morning I received this e-mail, twice!
MAKES SENSE TO ME!!!What I orignally wrote was satire. Soon after that I posted something very similar at The Huffington Post. Shortly after that I read an article written by Jorge Mariscal posted on January 5, 2007 at CounterPunch.com claiming that the Pentagon already has a program to accomplish this called the DREAM Act.
Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to
stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That
would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas
would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border.
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a
canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq. Tell him if he wants to
come to America then he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a
soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it. After his tour,
he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country.
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This
option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for
the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for
themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway,
without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved. If you think this is a
good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends.
I just did.
It's a stupid idea for many reasons, not the least of which is that it would do nothing to stem, slow or stop illegal immigration. But from the tenor of the e-mail I received the Pentagon is selling DREAM and the wingnuts are eating it up.