Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I'm sick of badasses. How 'bout you?

You want to know why I think the United States is losing respect in this world?

There are just too many people in this country who think they are badasses. Let me tell you what I mean.

Yesterday I went to my local Radio Shack store to exchange a telephone I bought there just after Christmas. Shouldn't have been that big of deal, you know. I tell 'em what's wrong with the phone and they give me a new one, smiles and thank yous all around.

But no.

This young gal, after I told her what was wrong with the phone, asked me why I didn't buy Radio Shack's extended service thingie, that this was the one and only time she'd allow me to return a telephone and yaddy-yaddy-yadda! I mean, why would you spend thirty bucks for an extended warrantee on a forty-five dollars phone? And I only want to exchange this phone, it's not like it's something I do every day! But on and on she lectured about extended warrantees, and in general being a young bitch.

She ended her lecture with a bit of advice, "Maybe you need to clean you phone lines. Have a nice day."

I might not be the shapest knife in the drawer, but I know an insult when I hear one. This gal might as well have added "asshole" at the end of that "have a nice day."

This isn't the first time I've run into this. There was the kid a the Menards store when I went to buy a replacement window. I didn't know shit-from-shinola about windows, I just knew I needed a window...aww, the window's in now and looks great, but you know, the fucking kid, not once, walked his lazy ass out from behind the counter to show me through all the windows on display so I might get a better idea of what I needed. He just asked me a bunch of questions, some of which I didn't think were relevant, and entered bullshit into a computer.

But I digress.

To take my mind off things I decided to watch a movie, Babel. Well, that was a mistake. It's not that it's a bad movie, but some of the heavies are US Customs and Border Protection guards. Now I've had some experience with these assholes, and let me tell you, even if we didn't have a jerk in the White House and an illegal occupation of a foreign country going on, these pinheaded bastards quarantee that anyone from another country gets a bad first impression of the United States.

To show you the kind of assholes you meet when you're crossing the border, here I am, a middle-aged, blue-eyed, white guy, with with a fucking Iowa driver's license, and this motherfucker in a black uniform asks me in a Mexican-Spanish accent, thicker than the waiter's at the restaurant were I just ate cabrito, if I'm a fucking American citizen! No, motherfucker, I'm from Venus! And there's these fucking signs all over the place saying, "No Jokes!" I'm not shitting you! And now, the fucking government demands everybody going back into the United States from Canada and Mexico produce a passport! Oh! like I'm gonna smuggle fucking' bombs into the country. Oh, won't that make us more safe from terrorists. Fuck you!

This fucking country ain't no fucking fun anymore!

Well, it's Tuesday and that means it's garbage day. Got to get the garbage out.

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