Friday, December 22, 2006

How to stem the tide of illegal immigration and keep the war in Iraq going

I just had this wonderful idea. I was inspired by a statement by the current Veterans Affairs Secretary Jim Nicholson, who said, Thursday, that society as a whole would benefit by a return of a military draft.

Now even though I'm anti-military--I think soldiers, like preachers, are given way too much respect in this society-- I agree with Nicholson's opinion that a draft "...does bring people from all quarters of our society together in the common purpose of serving." Of course, as soon as he uttered these words Nicholson was forced to retract same. Undoubtedly Nicholson got some heat from the Republicans for even fantasizing about putting the butts of their lily white young'uns in BDUs.

But now there's a dilemma of the "surge."

Dubya, after hearing Commander Milquetoast, Harry Reid, say that a "suge" of 20,000 to 30,000 more American soldiers into Baghdad might be a good thing, has coyly been tossing around the idea of, somehow, increasing the size of the U.S. Army and Marine Corps. But how to do that without either recourse to a draft or increasing pay and sign-up bonuses?

I have the solution: illegal immigrants.

Now look, according to the likes of Congressman Steve King, there is something like 11 to 12 million of these illegal critters running around the country. And even he acknowledges that our country is dependent on this hoard of undocumented, and unwashed, to kill our beeves, roof our houses and wipe our butts when we go to the nursing home. They, for the most part, would like to remain here as "legal" immigrants, but the system now in place for legal immigration is so labyrinthine and Byzantine as to make it all but impossible.

So here's what we do. Have the Immigration and Customs Enforcement, ICE, gang round up every illegal, undocumented immigrant, alien, work they possibly can; tell'em they can be "legal" if they serve a minimum of five years in the Army or Marines; and ship their asses to Iraq! Hell, they can take their families too!

Simple, no?

This is so evil, I don't know why Ollie North never thought of it.

No comments: