Badge of honor

One of my many Internet personae has been banned by The Des Moines Register. Here is a stern e-mail of warning from a Mr. Michael Corey, Digital Content Editor:

I'm writing to inform you that you due to violations of our terms of
service you're being banned from posting to the blogs or forums for 30 days.

The Register's conversation standards say, in part, that we may remove comments that include:

- Sexually explicit or crude sexual comments about someone.

- Nasty name-calling (language such as "moron" and "white trash").

- Swearing or obscenity.

Here's a few comments we've recently deleted:


Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 7:00 am
When the government bans guns, all you NRA dudes' d*cks will fall off!

Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 10:11 am
Laughing Laughing Laughing slycotton82! Sounds like a tampon!!!!
Laughing Laughing Laughing
Gotta go, dude! Laughing Laughing

Posted: Thu May 03, 2007 4:15 pm Post subject: AvgDude or AvgDoofus?

I don't wanna take anybody's gun. I don't care if Les Baer moves to
LeClair. Kinda hope they do.

I just wanna know why you bad*asses think you have to walk around with
a pistol in yer pants? I mean, the more you guys talk about bein'
bad*sses with firearms, the more you sound like p*ssies. Wink


If after 30 days you feel you can stay within the bounds of the terms
of service and would like to be able to post again, please contact me
then to be reinstated.

This is in reference to a story concerning the firearms manufacturer Les Baer relocating from Hillsdale, Illinois to LeClaire, Iowa. The gist of the news story was that a local LeClaire minister and his wife, J. Elmer Brunk and Cynthia Vaughan, oppose the move and are attempting to block same. So what.

But, of course, that brought out the Second Amendment nuts. And, of course, they began posturing about how big their guns are, and how they love to carry their gun and stroke its barrel, and how everybody should walk around with one. So I decided to have some fun and troll.

Now trolling is more usually a wing nut sport so I thought I'd turn the tables on our reactionary friends. They didn't like it. And, apparently, neither does Mr. Michael Corey, Digital Content Editor. But then again, "THE" Des Moines Register has always tired to maintain an air of gentility in a state full of foulmouthed dirt farmers, hicks hayseeds and white trash. Moreover, I've read some pretty vile things posted at "THE" Des Moines Register in response to comments from my other, non-offending persona, which, unfortunatly, is also blocked because they share the same IP. And some of these same wounded little boys, whom I've so deeply offended, regularly use veiled racist and ethnic slurs, and advocate mayhem, violence and the death penality for criminals, expecially minorities.

Aww, well, even I thought I may have gone too far. But Mr. Michael Corey, Digital Content Editor is merely being fair and balanced.