Sunday, June 24, 2007

Nazis laugh at the funniest things!

Received in my e-mail Inbox this morning:


( God this doesn't get any better)

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes."

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his Chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.

The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America 's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, He sent me."
I fail to find anything humorous in this "joke." But it does illustrate the mindset of the right wing, a violent, militarist mindset.

I suppose I shouldn't have used "Nazi" in my title, as it is a loaded word, but I can also well imagine the same "joke" being told in Germany, c. 1936 or so. Instead of a marine substitute your run-of-the-mill Heer soldat and substitute the punchline with something like:"The Fuhrer was too busy today protecting Germany from Jewish criminals so you can say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, I acted in the name of Hitler! Sieg heil!!" Ha, ha, ha. Funny stuff, that.

Perhaps the "joke" is a response to piece posted earlier this month at, a little known Internet humor site with some of the most biting satire on the Web. Let quote some of I'd Like to Thank the Troops for Fighting for My Freedom to Say Incredibly Stupid Shit by the fictional George Powers:
Which is why I'd like to thank the troops for fighting for my freedom to say such incredibly stupid shit. Because, naturally, if it weren't for the thousands of American soldiers who've been killed or injured in the civil war triggered by the toppling of Saddam Hussein's government four years ago, I wouldn't be able to go around shooting my mouth off about all the dumb crap that creeps into my head whenever and wherever I want to. The terrorists would have taken over and shredded the Constitution by now, severely impairing my capacity to get people to notice me by aggravating the fuck out of them by regurgitating with impunity the kind of mindless drivel I just got through spewing.

Now, lest you should get the wrong impression, I'm not some communist pussy who professes unconditional support for the freedom of speech, because how controversial would that be? On the contrary, just the other day I posted a message in an internet discussion forum saying people who openly oppose the Bush administration should be shaved bald and put into work camps weaving their former hair into wigs for more patriotic Americans who've been afflicted with cancer or male pattern baldness. You should've seen how many responses I got for that one. I believe it was some kind of site record.

Of course, the scope of the kind of expression I hold the troops in gratitude for protecting from the sinister machinations of the evil-doers is not limited to the incredibly stupid spoken word alone. Rather, thanks to those soldiers' brave sacrifice, I can still wear an attention grabbing t-shirt that reads "Stop Your Global Whining!" around town or put a huge homemade poster of Barack Obama in a turbin with a talk balloon that says "I'm a fag" on my garage.

Well, that last one I ended up having to take down after the home owner's association got wind of it, but that's okay. After all, authority should be obeyed, and I could move out of the neighborhood if I don't like it. Much the same way all these pro-terrorist liberals should stop flapping their gums about the Patriot Act and saving the trees and go move to China if they don't like freedom anymore.
Funny stuff, that. And a tid bit too close to reality for comfort but that is the mark of truly good satire.

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